intimidation

This morning I was running around the house looking for my Scott Kelby CS5 book so I can finally, finally try to learn photoshop.

I am so intimidated by it- I don’t know why, but every time I open it I get a pit in my stomach. Kinda like when you set your camera on manual for the first time and your first shot turns out black.

So I decide that I am going to conquer my fears, find the book, and finally learn how to post process pictures. But the book is gone. I have these fears that it was thrown into the donation piles by little Miss Sassy Pants.

But then I find it, and I have walked by and glanced at it a couple times today. At least I have an excuse- I have been on Eva duty all day and she doesn’t allow for “me” time unless me is her.

And so the book sits, and I think about reading it.

My husband has been pushing me lately, to take my photography to another level. I am not sure what level that is. And when you have been doing something for fun for the majority of your life, well it is hard to figure out where you want it to go, if it should even go anywhere at all.

And now I feel like I am not making any sense.

But one thing I read yesterday on a photography website was that it is not always the best idea to turn to others for inspiration. It said you should turn to yourself for inspiration- to remind yourself why you do what you.

So I dug through some discs sitting on our desk- and decided to take a look at what was there. I pulled one from the middle.

This disc was from April of 2004.

Cole was 10 months old. Photography was my life back then- but everything was straight out of the camera. If it was good, it was good. If it sucked, well it sucked.

And of course pulling out old pictures makes me so very grateful for this hobby of mine that I love so much

Because looking at these little boys brings on so much emotion

There is a part of me that wants to spread the love. Everyone should be able to have images that bring on the emotion I feel while looking at old images of my kids.

But for now- I will continue to learn and continue to click- until I get it all figured out.